I'm a wife dealing with her husband's addiction to pornography. I hope to be a resource for wives (and family members) dealing with similar struggles. Please join in the conversation and leave comments--even if you are here for curiosity's sake and are just learning about this kind of struggle! You can read my story here and the 4 things I think every addict's wife should know here.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

to the women

I have a wonderful, loving husband who has struggled with a pornography addiction since before we were married. I have known the whole time. It's not easy, but we are working through it. 

I believe that all women who are going through this need to understand 4 things (simplified for the sake of time and space).

Please--ingrain these things into your heads.
  1. This is NOT a result of YOU. Your husband would likely be struggling with this problem whether you were in his life or not. This is his problem, not your fault. Help him, but don't take the blame.
  2. You are an amazing person, and you are in charge of your happiness. Remember that, and don't let the pornography addiction convince you otherwise. You are in charge of your life.
  3. This addiction does not define your husband. It may seem like it's taking over his life, but chances are there is so much more to him than this. Sit down and write a list of what DOES define him as a person. This list (and whether he's trying to change) will give you a clear picture of whether he's worth fighting for.
  4. Pray, put your faith in Christ, and ask Him for comfort. He will lift you up in your darkest hour.
I shared my story anonymously, and you can read it here (then read all the "How She Does It" posts from 2010 and 2011): http://thismareeatsoats.blogspot.com/2010/08/how-anonymous-ii-does-it.html

 I'm happy to chat over email if you need some support: stepbysteptoeternity@gmail.com

Be strong. Be confident.