This next week is going to be very busy, but I’m committed to blogging more after this crazy week ends. I miss you guys. Here are my latest thoughts:
I think these are often the biggest questions on all of our minds: Is this going to get better? Will this ever go away? Will I still be dealing with this in 2 years? 5 years? 10? 30? Not gonna lie--these questions kind of make me sick.
We wonder where the success stories are. Do any marriages actually survive sex addiction? Sometimes it seems like we’re all here suffering together but the success stories are few and far between. Or maybe even absent.
So I want to share our progress with you. I don’t know what’s going to happen with us. I don’t know if things will keep going in the right direction, but this is where we are:
I am happy. Things are good.
My husband has been doing well for about 8 months. He goes to group meetings faithfully. He initiates prayer with me every evening. (Have I told you how we structure our prayers at night? If not, I will.) We pray as a family with our boys almost every morning.
He listens to spiritual talks on his way to work. He talks to me openly about his addiction (answers questions I have about his past, how he’s doing, if he has felt tempted). Is the communication perfect? Of course not. But it is getting better.
He is okay with me telling people about his addiction. He’s not exactly thrilled about it, but he understands that it is important for my healing to have a support group. And he is starting to also see that I am now reaching out to other people not necessarily for my own healing, but to bring them into the fold as well. He understands that my telling people has nothing to do with him; it’s about the women connecting and supporting each other.
I am starting to trust him. Our sex life is getting better. I am less codependent. I am letting him take charge of his life. His career. His addiction. His responsibilities.
I am happy.
Are things perfect? No. Is the addiction gone? No. Do I react perfectly to everything he does and treat him with perfect love? Heck no. I’m not perfect, people.
But things are good right now. They are moving in the right direction.
This hasn’t been a fast process. This is 8 years in the making. And it’s a work in progress. But I want you to know that it’s possible. We’re not a success story yet and things can change any time, but it can get better.